Beyond a superficiality, I am not able to connect with people. This is due to the contrast of my life by comparison to theirs. To begin to understand, one would have to truly be a humanitarian, and be moderately aware of the state of ill-health that permeates our world.
I have not had the good fortune, in significant relationships, of having healthy people, able to be helpful and contributory, in my life. My story is so sad and tragic, that to share it is to impose a burden. Unless of course I'm connecting with another, who like myself believes the responsibility for the change needed in this world starts within. ...To speak it is not to live it.
Next, my trust has been so profusely violated -I'm almost incapacitated to reach out. I suffer -in an environment where little will change, without help. Rare is the person/s, the circumstance/s I can trust for this help or change. But I can not survive without it.
There is so scarcely hope I debate if causing my death isn't how I must proceed. Understand though, that LIVING is what has been taken from me. Existing has become the totality of my experience in this world.