I think I understand now. Well at least
I understand so much more, I understand better. At the time I wrote
the post Get It Together, Keep It Together, Reach for Success, I wasn't far enough along that I had learned
I was diagnosed with OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder).
Now I'm not one for labels and the generalities that accompany them.
But this type of label seeks to comprise a host of cognitive and behavioral
descriptors manifesting as the disorder. From there simple observation
reveals the obvious. The purpose in recognizing the label or disorder is to address the thinking errors, like cognitive rigidity, that cause maladaptive behavior. It's when behavior works against you in life and relationships that making adjustment and change seeks to improve it - make it workable.
One of the distinguishing differences
from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCPD is that the
personality disordered individuals will site their behaviors as
positive aspects to them, which they find desirable. The
obsessive - compulsive individuals find their symptoms an affliction,
often creating much pain. I, however, do experience afflictions as
well. When I absolutely cannot function, as a result of being unable
to set up order or having order within and around me, it becomes a
disability.
The above pictures are from the Body For Life Challenge I entered in 2004. This is a 12 week program of weight training and 'clean', or healthy eating. In the 'Before' pic I was a size 16, weighing around 190 lbs. (I am 5' 7".) In the 'After' photo, I was a size 7, weighing around 140 lbs. at 12 % body fat. I continued training and went to almost a size 5, weighing around 130+ lbs. I maintained a workout and healthy eating regimen up until the Fall of 2007, at which point my life took a hit like no other. This achievement clearly observed in the above photos represents how functionally I can operate with order in my life.
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